It started with a racially charged verbal assault by a Valley Metro security officer on September 29, 2021 and by the time Veterans Day rolled along my mental health was being severely impacted with each setback leading to another and then another. By the time Christmas came along I was in full-blown ‘rabbit-hole’ mode and searching for the other zip tie. Had Julie not responded to my last attempt at survival, there is no telling what would have happened that day. I know I’m here still and that’s good enough for me. Whether I would have found the other zip tie and gone through with suicide I’ll never know, but I am glad that someone responded. Looking back, it was surreal how that moment transpired. And although suicide was averted, the thoughts were not, and I continued to deteriorate mentally. By the end of February, things were so bad that vodka was becoming more than just for self-medication and I was convinced that everyone was plotting against me.It was about this time that I had been approached by Jerry Ashton who was putting together a team for Mission Daybreak, a $20 million challenge for ideas to combat veteran suicide and because of my background, we began talking. I passed on the invitation in March but traveled to NYC in July to participate in the documentary. In August I returned to Arizona to tie up loose ends and am now a new resident of New York City even if that residency happens to currently be a veteran’s homeless shelter. Had I’d still been in Arizona; I would not be able to vote until 2024. I registered here and voted in this last election.
This Veteran’s Day will be my start of a new life in a new city. I’m surrounded by people who want to see veterans succeed instead of using us as a campaign fundraiser. New York has one of the lowest veteran suicide rates in the country. Arizona one of the highest. I’m already ahead and there’s plenty of more hope available, it was my job to grab it.
